Audiobooks read by the author are the very best. When published as an autobiography or memoir, they're even better! On our seven-hour car ride from Fort Worth, TX to Baton Rouge, LA, my husband and I in soaked in this actress's very personal story of growing up in poverty, being abused by her stepfather, and finding her way back to wholeness. The book opens with a humorous rendition of a lunch visit she had with Oprah Winfrey. The magic and meaning of this experience left you feeling hopeful, and Metz encouraged the reader to dream big. Her memories of being a latchkey kid in a trailer park in Gainesville, FL helped you see that where we come from is not near as important as who we are on the inside.
Chris and I are huge fans of the show, This is Us. Over dinner last night, a thought-provoking question arose and lingered in the air. Do any of us escape our childhoods unharmed? Having read quite a bit about ACE scores (You can take the test HERE) and watched Nadine Burke Harris's famous TED Talk, I am growing more and more convinced EVERYONE has something that happened to them when they were young that left a scar they've carried with them into adulthood. Some of our trauma is more pronounced than others, and like most things in life, our wounds run along a continuum—ranging from apocalyptic damage to BAND-AID® sized owwies. I have an ACE score of 6 which places me a little too close to the catastrophic end. However, like Chrissy Metz, I was lucky enough to encounter multiple families who showed me a different way to live and healed the broken places.
What about you? How did the events in your childhood shape your present? What practices have helped you heal and move forward? This question continues to push my thinking. Recently, I watched the HBO documentary, Leaving Neverland, and I was astounded by the two men who courageously came forward about the sexual abuse they endured at the hands of Michael Jackson. Their lives were forever altered by events that took place when they were 7 and 8 years old. Although these may seem like an extreme case, I think we all drag along burdens from our youth into the next stages of life. Often these manifest as the shame gremlins taunting us with messages like, "You're not enough!" and "No one will ever want you." Overcoming these demons takes persistence, perspective, and perhaps years of therapy.
Thankfully, books like This is Me, help us all find hope. Based on Chrissy's words of wisdom, I spent 10 seconds this morning counting my blessings. I have breath in my lungs. The sheets are soft. The room is airconditioned. I have covers to keep me warm. The man sleeping beside me loves me with abandon. I didn't escape my childhood unharmed—yet today I flourish.
What about you? How did the events in your childhood shape your present? What practices have helped you heal and move forward? This question continues to push my thinking. Recently, I watched the HBO documentary, Leaving Neverland, and I was astounded by the two men who courageously came forward about the sexual abuse they endured at the hands of Michael Jackson. Their lives were forever altered by events that took place when they were 7 and 8 years old. Although these may seem like an extreme case, I think we all drag along burdens from our youth into the next stages of life. Often these manifest as the shame gremlins taunting us with messages like, "You're not enough!" and "No one will ever want you." Overcoming these demons takes persistence, perspective, and perhaps years of therapy.
Thankfully, books like This is Me, help us all find hope. Based on Chrissy's words of wisdom, I spent 10 seconds this morning counting my blessings. I have breath in my lungs. The sheets are soft. The room is airconditioned. I have covers to keep me warm. The man sleeping beside me loves me with abandon. I didn't escape my childhood unharmed—yet today I flourish.
I love this (and her!) It's an interesting thing to think about. And I think it also puts us in an interesting and important boat as teachers- what are we doing to make our students who are in the middle of those soon to be scars feel safe and loved and happy at school? How are we easing the pain? I am reflecting this morning, too. Thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteLove the show, love the book, loved hearing her talk on tour. I too began to take on her morning count your blessings. Thank you for reminding us difficult times/experiences do not necessarily define us.
ReplyDeleteI had a score of 2...but I know for certain that the experiences I had as a child have informed my decisions as an adult. Thanks for sharing this insightful post!
ReplyDeleteMy school has done a lot work with ACE scores and trauma because many of our kids have high ones...already! I do believe my childhood experiences have influenced my adult life, but mostly in a positive way. WE just keep working and helping and loving those kids!
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