Day 15 #SOL21: Contemplating Time Capsules & Trips Down Memory Lane

 

Lounging on our outdoor patio furniture on a quiet Sunday evening, I took a long, meandering trip down memory lane. With a glass of wine within arm's reach, I snuggled under a blanket and nestled my MacBook on my lap. Screen-after-screen, I read through almost two decades of old blogs—smiling, cringing, and wondering how one human being could evolve into so many different versions of herself.  

Although my current blog only dates back to the winter of 2012, I did a little sleuthing, and I found the first blog I ever wrote.

In January of 2004, I was twenty-five years old. My youngest half-sibling, Trinitie, had come to live with me a few years earlier, and although I had no business trying to raise a tough teenager who'd attended 33 public schools across five states before finally graduating high school, we'd found our way to one another. Trin discovered a whole world in the JoeUser blogging community and she wooed me in, like a moth to a flame. Across the span of five years, I posted regularly—asking tough questions, pondering big ideas, and eventually meeting and marrying the man I love. Through my blog, he would learn intimate details of my life, and in many ways, I think it's what drew us together. An Old 97's song rang in my ears as I reread a short post about the day he asked me to marry him. 

These blogs were time capsule, transporting me back to significant moments that defined and redefined my life. As a self-proclaimed historian, I decided to screenshot each blog, just in case someone ever archives the JoeUser website. Hours slipped by as I read through each piece. It was during the second half of my twenties that my faith unraveled, and so many of my posts oozed with uncertainty, insecurity, and doubt. My final JoeUser blog was dated June 16, 2009, composed just days after my thirtieth birthday. I'm 41 years old now, and the girl I wrote about in those blogs feels like a stranger. 

It appears I took a three year blogging hiatus, which I now attribute to completing graduate school. Writing Momentum, my current blogger home, has been sketchy, sporadic, and unpredictable. However, I'm so glad these blogs exist. It's March 15 which means we've almost made it to the half-way point of the challenge. It's also Spring Break here in Texas, and one pattern I noticed looking back across the last few years, is I often fall off the slicing wagon during this specific week. My hope is this journey through the past will keep me grounded and writing. I want to stay the course this year and finish strong. Writing is so damn hard. But the hard stuff is always worth it.