What If I Actually Had a Dialogue?

The recent tragedy in Dallas and the ever-present racial tensions sweeping our nation have left us all feeling a little wobbly. Holding space for the intense discomfort we're all experiencing requires courage. Personally, I have found myself feeling increasingly disturbed, confused, and uncertain. I've had to do some serious soul searching. My character defects haunt me, and I struggle to acknowledge the subtle, racist thoughts I harbor

I am white. 

I am privileged. 

I am ashamed. 

In her book, Rising Strong, Brené Brown describes swimming in deep murky waters as a period of reckoning. It's when we get curious about what we are feeling and start asking hard questions. After reading several articles and watching various videos online, I'm afraid the rumble has begun. Curiosity is a shit-starter, and keeping in line with my One Word for 2016, that's OKAY. 

Here are a few of the articles that have left me feeling raw, exposed, and vulnerable. 

Dallas Morning News: U.S. Was, Is, and Always Will Be a White Supremacist Country

Storyline: The Most Dangerous Form of Racism 

Babble: What I've Learned as the Mother of Three Black Children

The provocative lyrics of this song shake me to the core. Thank you Macklemore. 

I've heard that silences are action and God knows that I've been passive 

What if I actually read a article, actually had a dialogue

Actually looked at myself, actually got involved?

This brave kid's spoken word poetry should be required viewing for all Americans. 

In an effort to prevent the constant collision of my aspirational and practiced values, I'm joining the conversation. And it's scary as hell. The questions I'm asking will make others uncomfortable, and that too is OKAY. The reckoning and rumbling were never meant to be easy. I'm bracing for the inevitable ass-kicking I'll take from family, friends, and acquaintances who disagree with my position. But isn't that what rising strong is all about?