My early morning flight afforded me some unexpected reading time, and since I am attempting to have a balanced diet of fiction and nonfiction, I grabbed a copy of Rob & Kristen Bell's new book, The ZimZum of Love. Drawn instantly to the simplicity and straightforward message, I found myself thinking about how lucky I am to have found a man who shares a responsive, dynamic, and exclusive space with me.
Chris and I will celebrate nine years of marriage this May, and although we are currently in a healthy stage of life, we've certainly had our share of ups and downs. Those early months of dating were electric, magnetic, and intoxicating. We had a whirlwind romance, and within five months we were hitched. Learning how to let go of my stubborn independence and merge into a symbiotic, yet autonomous, "we" proved challenging. Blending families and opening up honest dialogue created tense situations at times. Holding space for one another's hard truths is never easy.
Fast forward about seven years, and we are in a counselor's office talking about hard things like intimacy issues, money, and workaholism. We've evolved, and although we know each others quirks and idiosyncracies, we are not the same people who exchanged vows on a beach in California in 2007. As Rob writes on page 50, “People aren’t static; they’re dynamic—endlessly complex and capable of tremendous surprise and change.” Thankfully, when we accept the expansiveness required for humans to grow and change, we reconnect and discover we have fallen even more in love with this ever-evolving human.
I should, however, warn any myopic readers that Rob Bell's theology and ideas about marriage are a bit controversial. He was recently on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday, and I applaud him for embracing a comprehensive, inclusive view of love.
I have a couple more chapters of the book to finish, and I look forward to discussing my take-aways with Chris as we set sail on our cruise. Travel experiences always draw us closer together and strengthen our bond. Our shared histories are written and rewritten each time we explore a new destination, and I am deeply grateful to take these trips with a man I love.